What No One Tells You About Breakups – that includes Shameless Maya

How have you ever gotten closure out of your ex?

See the total transcript of this video on the backside of the data field!

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Shannon “Boody” Boodram is an intimacy knowledgeable and relationship educator who promotes sexual empowerment via data and dialog. She creates contents for younger adults to make higher selections of their intimate lives and romantic relationships. For more information on Shan go to



Music: Instrumentals YouTube audio library

Endscreen Music
“Goes Down” By Jessame Berry & Jared Brady


How do you get closure?

My final reminiscence of you is watching you roll your suitcase down the corridor in the direction of the elevator, away from my door and out of my life – for good this time.

The suitcase was black.

However you, that’s the foggy half. What had been you carrying? How lengthy was your beard? Have been you carrying a backpack? Have been you carrying a watch on the hand that held the suitcase?

Should not I do know these things?

“You continue to have my key!” I yelled. You heard. However you didn’t look again.

I wasn’t going to deal with. Not this time.

So I retreated again to my house and locked the door senselessly behind myself. You continue to have my key. Within the days that previous that sentence unnerved me and saved me collectively on the similar time – perhaps you’d comeback.

I fantasized that oneday I’d unlock the door to seek out you sitting there ready, nonetheless wanting despite the fact that all we had left was hurting. In fact I didn’t truly need that however I used to be an addict who didn’t know any higher or know that I used to be higher.

Weeks after you didn’t present up on my doorstep, I deserted that imaginative and prescient and clung to expertise as an alternative. Perhaps a surprisingly susceptible early morning e mail or late evening textual content would begin the scab:

“The place do I start to clarify? You delivered to life one thing left for useless in me. I blamed you the individual as a result of it was simpler than chasing the ache, I’m sorry. All that hiding and in the long run, I misplaced you. I do know it’s too late however I assumed it was nonetheless value saying – you didn’t deserve the worst of me and I die slightly everytime I understand, that’s in all probability all I left you with.”

However after all that phantom message by no means discovered it’s method to me – and why wouldn’t it? We had been terrible collectively, so why would we magically work nicely aside? And that’s the apparent half about closure that films have a tendency to go away out: in the event you had been relationship the form of one who goes out of their method to train self perception, compassion and empathy in order that you would heal – likelihood are you in all probability wouldn’t have break up up within the first place. Closure has this repute for being a crew sport however in actuality it isn’t normally completed by holding palms, it’s most frequently achieved with clenched fists as you battle off the habit and seek for which means.

So, as a result of you possibly can’t all the time get it from them – let’s work on it collectively. Are you able to let go? Shut your eyes and keep in mind.

Keep in mind that feeling in your abdomen on that date

Bear in mind the best way they made you are feeling small in huge rooms

Keep in mind that inspirational quote that you just learn again and again wishing it felt like dwelling slightly than hope in your lips,

Bear in mind the look that by no means felt proper, the contact that all the time kinda rubbed you the unsuitable method – do not forget that sure nothing value having comes straightforward however having somebody value loving will not be speculated to be THAT laborious.

I cherished you. I don’t perceive you. Have a pleasant life.


23 thoughts on “What No One Tells You About Breakups – that includes Shameless Maya”

  1. Lesson learned: needing closure keeps you stuck and in a holding pattern. You give up your power when you expect your ex to give you closure. No one can give you closure better than yourself is what I learned after a long term relationship ended. I realized that closure was about me and not my ex. At the end of the day my breakup was my closure. Because no explanation was going to repair or fix the damage that was already done.

  2. What about when the breakup was your fault? And the hurt you feel is that you were a terrible person and while you want them to be happy on move on, you feel guilty if you do?

  3. I haven't found my closure yet after 4yrs of relationship…He end up marrying someone else that he don't even love. Complicated situation force him to do so. I occupied myself with work stuff, hanging with friends, went out for a normal dates to distract myself, but at the end of the day, I found myself crying, feeling sad and lonely. Hoping things will get back to used too but knows for the fact that it will never happen. I wish him for happiness every single day…time will heal for me….

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